Super Blood Protection
by Right What Is Wrong
Summary: The blood protection, contrary to common fanon, doesn't protect against anyone but Voldemort. But what if it did?


When Harry Potter arrived at Number Four Privet Drive, the residents were determined to make the little freak know his place.

Three melted frying pans, one exploded cupboard, and several superficial burns later, they were determined to hand the little freak back.

The arch-freak himself, that horrid mess of garish purple and overgrown hair that had attended Petunia's sister's wedding, wrote back that they couldn't possibly do such a thing, and it was most rude to attempt to expel a helpless child, family was the most precious thing in life, &c. &c. The Dursleys threw the letter in the fireplace and drove at top speed toward the nearest orphanage.

Like a bad penny, he was back in the guest bedroom by next week, and the arch-freak stopped them outside the door to personally instruct them in proper retention of relatives. Somewhere around the time he was twittering away that he knew, of course, the importance of raising the boy with proper humility, Petunia mentally began enumerating her shopping list for the interval between now and the next time he visited: garlic, salt, crucifixes, mirrors...

Alas, testing on the freak proved that none of the recommended methods really worked against the unnatural. Even locking him out of the house resulted in nothing more than the freak toddling around merrily the next morning, having munched on some of the flowers when he got a bit peckish during the night. The same could not be said for Vernon's car, which had been plowed into by a neighbor avoiding the toddler strolling in the middle of the road. That led to some very inconvenient questions.

As much out of morbid curiosity as from sheer malice, the Dursleys would learn over the next few years that the freak was immune to cold, heat, hunger, thirst, imprisonment, sharp objects, blunt objects, projectiles, motor vehicles, animals (poor Ripper), and generally every single thing they could throw at him. (To their displeasure, once he entered school, he appeared immune to bad grades as well.) While the adults were properly repelled by such unnaturalness, they could not fully dissuade Dudley from being impressed; the first and only showcasing of the Amazing Impenetrable Potter attracted some freakish attention, which would have horrified them even more if they could properly remember it. At any rate, it finally put Dudley off of the matter, for which they experienced rather discomforting gratitude.

The freak, mercifully, was a naturally standoffish sort - mercifully, because they had no way either to discipline him or to defend themselves _from_ him. Receiving nothing like pleasantry from them, he avoided them as much as possible; the Dursleys reciprocated, aware that any of the ordinary tussles between child and authority figure would only further reveal their impotence. They could not strike him, they could not expel him from the house, and they could not starve him without... things happening. An ordinary child could be punished by depriving him of his possessions, but there was the inconvenient little matter of the freak not _having_ possessions besides his bed, his hand-me-downs, and his schoolbooks. Since the Dursleys would not budge on the matter even for the sake of punishing the freak, there it stood.

The freak-school letter, when it came, came almost as a relief. Still, out of some feeble, final attempt to seize power, they kept it from him anyway.

One crisp morning, Vernon walked outside to go to work and beheld owls camping in every tree on Privet Drive. He took several deep breaths, shook his head, and went back inside.

###

 **Author's Note:**

I tried to extend the fic, but couldn't work out how to make a literal invincible!Harry interesting.

Fanon holds that the blood protection _generally_ preserved Harry's safety, rather than defending against Voldemort and Voldemort alone. This is a reasonable attempt to justify Harry living with an abusive family for a decade straight to fend off a powerless, bodiless spirit stranded in Albania. Unfortunately, Harry's manifold canon misfortunes seem to indicate otherwise, and Dumbledore himself specifies: " _While you can still call home the place where your mother's blood dwells, there you cannot be touched or harmed_ **by Voldemort**." A reasonable reading is that "touched or harmed by Voldemort" includes "touched or harmed by Voldemort _'s will as expressed through an underling_ ", but then Wormtail would not have been able to cut Harry in the graveyard. So, canonically, the blood protection _only_ works against Voldemort himself.

This was a silly tribute to the fanon variant.


End file.
